Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Kab milegi

"Oye Mr. Uber Geek, girlfriend banayi ki nahi?"

"Nahi yaar, this is IIT, remember?"

"Ah, too bad for you, missing out on girls"

"I prefer to think girls are missing out on me."

"Mr IIT Hotshot eh? One day you will miss having someone to share your feelings"

"Why would I even want to share my feelings? I feel okay just the way I am."


"Hey Mr Dilliwala, show us the delhi-waala-maal."

"There is no such thing as delhi-wala-maal."

"Of course there is. You were from PPS school na? Kya girls hoti hain wahan ki!"

"You've been watching too much porn"

"And what about you, teri koi bandi to pakka hogi. Mera bhi set kara na."

"No bhai, quit pestering me."

"You must some kind of abnormal guy, no girlfriend even in a school like PPS."


I work hard.

I play harder.

I get tired.

I sleep.

And then I dream.

Dream of nothing.


**In the college cultural fest**

"Cmon yaar, we are already in third year. Ab to girlfriend rakhna banta hai"

"Haan haan, you should ask out one of the babes today only."

"Guys, this is completely stupid."

"Ooh! Look at those godly legs yaar! Just go on and ask her"

"Yeah go go, we are right behind you"

"Yeah go ahead, you are the man, you are the PPSite, you are the Dilliwala."


"Yaar these guys keep screwing around with me. Tease me incessantly about still being a girl-shy child. I am from a small time background. Tu to Dilliwala hai.. Tell me kya karoon."

"Its perfectly okay not to have a 'so-to-say' steady girlfriend."

"Yaar, but there should be someone who would lend a shoulder for you. Hai na?"

"I guess so."

"Pata nahi kab milegi! Till then, I will try my luck on Orkut"


**Valentine's Day**

"Flowers for you! Will you be my valentine?"

"Of course, mom."

"You could have said that more cheerfully, you know."

"Yeah, right."

"So, is there some girl you want to gift chocolates today?"

"I would rather eat those chocolates myself. Obviously no, ma."

"Now thats not really obvious. You come once a month home, I wouldnt even know if you were in a secret relationship with some girl now would I?"

"Whatever ma. Now hand over my milk before it gets cold."


A dark angel.

A milky chocolatey angel.

No, a white angel.

As bright as the sun, even more.

Soothing me, hugging me.

Says, "Whatever happens, I will be there for you."


Vote for me now! Blogomania 2010 sponsored by Odyssey360 | The 24 hour online book store with 5 milion books to choose from.

Friday, November 6, 2009

A Random Chat on Omegle.com

This is me as 'You' in the chat.

Its chilly here in china
Stranger: Om nom nom!
Stranger: What's up?
Stranger: No kidding.
You: om namah shivay
Stranger: om namah shivaya
Stranger: n ts n ts n ts
Stranger: Astral projection?
You: no..
You: its a hindu mantra..
You: you from america?
You: are you dead?
Stranger: No, sorry.
Stranger: I'm in California.
Stranger: yeah.
You: oh nice
Stranger: Ok. >.>
You: venice beach? inglewood?
You: say hi to my poppa..
Stranger: Hah.
Stranger: Tell me about om namah shivaya.
You: om is a universal sound.. a combination of the widest spectrum of frequencies..
You: it is thought that if aliens would ever communicate with humans, it would start with "OM"
Stranger: Ok.
Stranger: Interesting.
You: Namah is a Sanskrit word for humble introduction
You: Shivaya is the Lord of Destruction.. So this mantra is a call to aliens that we will destroy you..
You: that last part was made up :)
Stranger: Uh huh.
Stranger: Yeah, I see that. hahaha.
You: Did you know that hindu mythology has over 80,000 gods..
Stranger: I know he is the considered the supreme god.
Stranger: Yes.
You: one for each family/community,,
Stranger: I studied hinduism when I was younger.
You: yes you are right..
Stranger: He is the destroyer or transformer.
Stranger: In school I was taught that together with brahma and vishnu, they make up the trimurti.
You: Do you know about the other two supreme gods?
You: cool
You: cool
You: cool
Stranger: haha.
Stranger: My teacher at the time said that the supreme being was brahma, but after doing my own research it would seem to be shiva.
You: Do you know that ashvathama was the name of an elephant also?
Stranger: No, I didn't know that.
You: ok, actually that part was from the mahabharata..
You: it is the grandest epicest tale of five brothers in war with a hundred brothers..
You: if possible, you should see the television series with the same name
You: dead again? did shiva destroy you?
Stranger: Still here.
Stranger: Are you hindu?
You: yes
Stranger: Ok.
You: can you tell about your religion?
You: mythology?
Stranger: You want me to tell you about what I believe?
You: yes..
You: I am not really interested in your religion, I just wanted to know if you would share any cool myths you might have heard of?
You: Like He-Man of the Castle Grayskull..
You: or Helen of Troy
Stranger: LOL
Stranger: he-man is an american cartoon
You: or the 300 spartans..
Stranger: just a funny story, not a myth
Stranger: the 300 spartans is history, that really happened.
You: hehe..
You: but not really like the action movie...
Stranger: Helen of troy is a work of fiction written over 2000 years ago.
Stranger: No, the movie is a work of fiction.
You: Then tell me something about your mythology..
You: Some cool story..
Stranger: I'm an atheist.
You: ok, thats fine...
Stranger: :)
You: But dont you like any myths?
Stranger: like no man dude I don't.
Stranger: Sorry.
Stranger: What attracts you to hinduism over other religions?
You: my dad said so..
You: Beta, you must be a hundu, or get out of my house..
You: *hindu
Stranger: How old are you?
Stranger: Are you Chinese?
Stranger: Your name is Beta?
You: No way
You: Im 19, male, indian
You: and beta means son in hindi
You: unlike the greek beta
Stranger: Ah, ok.
Stranger: Strange.
Stranger: Your father tells you you must think something is true, or you have to get out of his house.
Stranger: However, it does not make the thing more true or less true.
You: Yeah, thats how it is..
Stranger: The thing is true or it is false.
Stranger: His threats do not make it true or false.
Stranger: If he said, "Beta, 2 + 2 = 6. Believe this, or get out of my house."
Stranger: He would still be wrong.
Stranger: And you would know the truth, even if you pretended.
You: What if I like to believe that there are 80,000 gods protecting me, and I like that illusion of safety?
Stranger: You can believe it, but it doesn't make it true.
You: Does your father have a different religion than you do?
You: Dont get offended, I was just asking..
You: In hindusim, we treat guests as gods..
You: you are like a guest
You: and I like to believe in this attitude
You: hence my religion
You: Did shiva destroy you yet?
Stranger: Nope.
Stranger: Sorry, I'm doing several things.
You: ok
Stranger: Haha.
Stranger: My father is a christian minister.
Stranger: Like a priest.
You: So doesnt your family get offended by your atheist beliefs..
Stranger: Yes.
Stranger: I think people should believe in the truth.
Stranger: Not just in what they are told.
Stranger: We should each think about what makes sense to us and believe in what we know, not just accept everything that we are told.
You: I think you are right in some ways, yet ignoring the presence of a higher power is not really what is right..
You: it gives faith to the weakest of the weak to overcome odds
You: and these are not so called miracles, these are everyday acts of kindness
You: did shiva destroy you yet?
Stranger: Hahaha. No.
Stranger: I have never seen the presence of a higher power.
Stranger: If I saw it, I would not ignore it.
You: Dont you think there is a purpose to your existence?
You: being a science student, you should know that everything has a meaning
You: does your existence have a meaning yet?
You: It is precisely for that reason that you can never see the presence, only feel it..
Stranger: I think we give meaning to the things we do.
Stranger: I think meaning is what we think it is. Events are neutral, it is we that decide if it has meaning or not.
You: Ok, stop for a moment, and try to look at your self from a third person perspective..
Stranger: Ok.
You: This body, these abilities that you have of locomotion, digestion, respiration
Stranger: Yes.
You: dont you think these are not coincidences?
You: That you have some purpose?
You: Did shiva destroy you yet?
Stranger: No. These are products of evolution.
Stranger: We have very good scientific evidence of why we move, digest, and breath.
You: Even so, how did evolution put life into organic matter?
Stranger: We can look at the body and our history and show by science and proof exactly why we do these things. We don't have to say that magical invisible gods did it, because we know why we do these things.
Stranger: Evolution did not put life into organic matter.
You: Then what do you think shaped our character into the only possible shape and structure that we have
You: Infinitely many paths are possible through decisions, and yet we chose one..
Stranger: We can only chose one.
Stranger: You would say we chose one no matter which path we chose.
Stranger: We took this path through evolution.
You: Why do you think that every new-born creature is an exact replica of its parent?
You: you would say it is the property of reproduction
Stranger: We are not exact replicas of our parents.
You: but dont you think that it is the perfection of a higher power?
You: and yet we have our own differences..
You: Did shiva destroy you yet?
Stranger: No.
Stranger: We know why children are similar to their parents. It is because their parents pass down their genetic code to them. That is how reproduction works, and how species are sustained.
You: What do you think passes this genetic code?
Stranger: It doesn't show that there is a god or gods. We can explain it.
Stranger: Sperm and ovum.
You: And who put these genetic codes into sperms and ova?
Stranger: Our bodies did automatically.
Stranger: Any body that failed to do that never passed on its genes.
You: hahaahaa
You: "Automatically" !
You: explain that with science..
You: I got you boy..
You: Did shiva destroy you yet?
Stranger: If you are interested in how sperm and ovum are created and why they contain genetic code, I would suggest you look it up on wikipedia.
You: WIkipedia is a creation of scientific minds and comminty effort
Stranger: Yes.
You: and its knowledge is limited by our human thoughts..
You: and scientific effort
Stranger: You asked me to explain how genetic codes are put into sperm and ova, with science. This is very simple science, and is taught to students in high school.
Stranger: Science is not limiting. It is educational.
Stranger: We have never been limited by science.
You: Of course not..
Stranger: In fact, most of the great mistakes we have made in the past which we have fixed with science were actually made by religion.
Stranger: For example, we used to believe the world was flat. Scientists discovered it was round, and the religious community put those scientists in jail.
Stranger: Eventually the evidence was overwhelming, and the religious community had to admit it was wrong.
You: Religion did not jail scientists, some misguided priests did..
You: Religion did not believe earth is flat
Stranger: Fair enough. It was done in the name of religion, then.
You: some hypocrites and fat bellied priests did it..
Stranger: Science is not limiting.
Stranger: We learn from science.
You: But where does science learn from?
You: Do you say nature?
You: observations?
You: analysis?
You: conclusion?
You: But where does it all start?
Stranger: We learn from observing our environment, and analyzing what we see.
Stranger: Learning starts from curiousity, I suppose.
You: That is our perception of science, but what really created science?
You: Did shiva destroy you yet?
Stranger: Lol, I don't think Shiva is going to destroy me tonight.
Stranger: Science is the process of asking questions and finding answers through proof.
Stranger: Science is a theory. It was never created, it was only named.
You: Did you know Vishnu was stronger than Shiva..
Stranger: It was first practiced by the first man to solve a problem by thinking about it logically.
You: ?
You: Topic change?
Stranger: I didn't know that.
Stranger: Sure.
Stranger: *shrug*
You: Vishnu was like Batman over Superman
You: Shiva had strength
You: Vishnu had cunningness..
You: Another factoid
You: Did you know there is only one temple of Lord Brahma in India?
You: No one is allowed to establish a temple elsewhere..
You: Did you self-destruct yet?
You: :)
Stranger: I didn't know there was only one temple of Lord Brahma in India.
You: Its a loong story, do you want to hear it?
Stranger: Well... probably not, if it's that long.
You: Okay, I wasnt going to start anyway..
You: You read any Batman comics?
You: Your age?
You: Did you self-destruct yet?
You: Or are you bored?
You: My gmail Id is thundercoder@gmail.com
You: would love to chat some other time..
Stranger: Ah, sorry
Stranger: I was talking to someone else
Stranger: I'm 22.
Stranger: I like some comics, not batman so much.
Stranger: The Dark Knight by Alan Moore is pretty good.
You: Arre, nice...
You: That is the best Batman work ever..
Stranger: :)
You: So are you employed?
Stranger: I'm a Marine.
You: seen Full Metal Jacket?
Stranger: Yes.
Stranger: Haha.
You: Which type are you, the fat one or short one?
Stranger: One moment
Stranger: http://img191.imageshack.us/img191/5742/260911847557v.jpg
You: Looking nice..
Stranger: Lol. Thanks.
You: Do they torture you like in the movie?
You: Any specific field of specialization?
Stranger: I don't think there was torture in Full Metal Jacket
Stranger: I'm a rifleman and a network specialist.
Stranger: What do you mean 'torture'?
You: The fat guy was bleeding.. and bullied, that led to his suicide..
You: Are you off duty now?
Stranger: Yeah, I'm in my barracks room.
Stranger: He wasn't bleeding until he shot himself, lol.
Stranger: we had a couple of people in boot camp try to kill themselves, but they failed.
Stranger: No one died.
You: Why did they fail?
Stranger: One jumped from the third level, but he was ok
Stranger: lol
Stranger: another tried to cut his wrists with razor blades but they caught him and sent him away
You: Must be a tough guy..
You: the first one, I mean..
Stranger: If you land on your feet you probably won't die.
You: How high have you jumped?
Stranger: not more than 12 feet.
Stranger: Onto ground.
Stranger: Water, much more.
You: My friend can jump 13 feet, is he qualified to be a marine?
Stranger: Hahaha.
Stranger: Marines do more than jump. ;)
You: He can run 100 m in 10.7
Stranger: meters?
You: He can jump 7 m
You: yeah, 100 m
You: meters
Stranger: Very fast.
You: Can he join the marines now?
Stranger: To be allowed to try you have to pass intelligence tests, have no medical problems, you have to be American, and you have to have a high school diploma.
Stranger: And then you can try.
You: He has an IQ close to 160 I think, and a Bachelor Degree in Engineering..
You: The problem is that he is not American
You: Can you work that out for us?
You: Hmm?
Stranger: I can't.
Stranger: I'm just a normal Marine.
Stranger: he could immigrate, he may be allowed to join for citizenship.
Stranger: He may not like it here, though.
Stranger: It's not a lot of fun.
You: I will tell him, actually he's in Indian Navy
You: training for Marine Engineering
You: Did you self-destruct yet?
Stranger: Nope.
Stranger: That's cool, though.
Stranger: Indian Navy. Hm.
You: Protecting the Arabian Seas and Indian Oceans from Somalian Pirates..
Stranger: :)
Stranger: I wish America did more protecting and less attacking.
You: True
Stranger: It's out of my control, though.
You: Obviously..
Stranger: Obama is less war-mongering than Bush, though.
Stranger: I like him better.
You: Our Prime Minister Shri Manmohan Singh is also cooler than Bush
You: Maybe even ccoler than Obama.. never attacks or offends anybody..
You: Plays defensive game everywhere.. in international, as well as domestic politics..
You: are you a Bush supporter?
Stranger: No.
Stranger: I support my president always because he is both my president as an american citizen and my highest officer as a marine.
Stranger: I am loyal to him.
Stranger: But I did not vote for him, I wish Al Gore had won instead of Bush.
Stranger: Or Kerry.
Stranger: I am glad Obama won.
Stranger: I like Obama.
You: Bush was a very energetic president, they compared him to a monkey..
You: Always jumping around..
Stranger: No, no.
Stranger: They compared him to a monkey because he has small eyes and big ears and he does not speak well
Stranger: he speaks as if he were not a smart person.
Stranger: So they call him a monkey. It is an insult, to disrespect him.
You: Oh, sorry..
Stranger: No problem. :)
You: I am sorry for Bush..
You: Clinton was good too, before his accident..
Stranger: Yes.
You: The Monica Lewinsky accident
You: He was very close to Shri Atal Behari Vajpayee..
You: You should see Shri Atal Behari Vajpayeeji's videos on youtube
You: Very energetic !!
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: I will look it up now
Stranger: Hm.
Stranger: Can you send me a good one?
You: ok, I will find one for you..
Stranger: :)
You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjufY0_n4ss
You: mind the Hindi though..
Stranger: He seems angry. I don't like it.
You: It was when he was young..
You: I could not find the latest video..
You: Watch this
You: Indian Railway Minister in Parliament
You: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JekaXmlrohw
You: See this, it is funny.. He speaks English too..
Stranger: Ok :)
Stranger: I don't understand why it's funny.
You: Oh ok, its his dialect that we find funny...
You: I have to go now, have to finish my engineering project..
You: You are a funny guy, nice to meet you
You: I'm coming to States next year..
You: Will you host me?
Stranger: Yo.
Stranger: Host you?
Stranger: What do you mean?
Stranger: om nom nom.

Vote for me now! Blogomania 2010 sponsored by Odyssey360 | The 24 hour online book store with 5 milion books to choose from.

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Saturday, May 9, 2009

This is for all you CS & Linux freaks out there, check out this cool rap on AIM chat from www.bash.org :

djahandarie: we ain't here to do e-c-e
djahandarie: we're here to do c-s-e on the w-e-b
djahandarie: listen to me spit these rhymes
djahandarie: while i program lines
djahandarie: and commit web accessibility crimes
djahandarie: word, son
http402: You talk like your big on these I-Net kicks,
http402: But your shit flows slower than a two-eighty-six.
http402: I'm tracking down hosts and nmap scans,
http402: While Code Igniter's got you wringing your hands.
http402: Cut the crap rap,
http402: Or I'll run ettercap,
http402: Grab your AIM chat,
http402: N' send a PC bitch-slap!
http402: peace
djahandarie: you're talkin bout down hosts and nmap scans
djahandarie: while i got other plans
djahandarie: you're at your new job, but you can't even do it right
djahandarie: you just create a plight with your http rewrites
djahandarie: i've been on the web since the age of three
djahandarie: you just got on directly off the bus from mississippi
djahandarie: respect yo' elders, bitch
http402: You've been webbin' since three, but still ain't grown up,
http402: Gotta update your config and send the brain a SIGHUP.
http402: You say you're that old? No wonder you're slow!
http402: You're knocking at the door while I run this show!
http402: Elders my ass, you're shit's still in school,
http402: Hunt and pecking at the keyboard like a spaghetti-damned fool,
http402: Rim-riffing your hard drive like a tool,
http402: Face it. I rule.
djahandarie: i erase my harddrives with magnets (bitch)
djahandarie: all you can do is troll on the fagnets
djahandarie: and son, my brain's wrapped in a nohup
djahandarie: it wont be hurt by the words you throwup
djahandarie: dont mind me while i emerge my ownage
djahandarie: while you're still over there apt-getting your porridge
djahandarie: you say i'm still in school
djahandarie: but the fact is that i know the rule
djahandarie: cuz you need to go back to grade three
djahandarie: and you better plea, that they take sucky graduates from c-s-e
http402: Time to bend over and apply a patch,
http402: Your brain's throwing static like a CD with a scratch.
http402: Your connection got nuked and you've met your match.
http402: You run a single process like a VAX with a batch.
http402: I'd pass the torch to a real winner
http402: But it'd just scorch a while-loop spinner
http402: Caught in a loop that you cant escape,
http402: I run clock cycles around your words and flows,
http402: Cuz your rhyme is like a PS fan: it' blows,
http402: Your water-cooled lyrics leak and it shows,
http402: Take your ass back to alt.paid.for.windows.
djahandarie: Good god, I can't even respond to that. :P
djahandarie: You win haha
* http402 takes a bow

"Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders" - Anonymous

Friday, May 1, 2009


I will tell you story: (It aint the ping-pong ball story, that can wait....)

Kamikaze (japanese, kami=god, kaze=wind) are the world famous suicide bombers from Japan. The Japanese realized in the middle of World War II that they were down in technological superiority than the Americans, and so they devised a plan. They would make planes, but would not mount guns on them, instead carry extra explosives on board. The pilots thought they were fighting for their family honour, as mentioned in the bushido code: loyalty and honor to the cause until death. And so, the suicide planes were born. The Kamikaze.

The plane was single propeller turbo fan, and had poor weight balancing. But there was a single kanji written on the airplane - "Banzai".

Banzai is the warcry for the brave, the desperate or for plain foolish. It is a kind of religious feeling one gets by thinking less, and doing more, and not giving a damn about personal life. Emotionally charged kamikaze would fly their banzai planes into the enemy heart, and give them a hell of a time.

This should be our warcry too. Banzai your thoughts, Banzai your actions, and Banzai your words. Strike terror into the enemy heart.


Monday, March 23, 2009

The Humdrum of IIT Delhi Poltu

IIT Delhi Politics, affectionately called "Poltu", spares none, bars none, and yet people get scared (a better word may be cautious) by the very word. I am going to describe the most common symptoms of IITD Poltu:

1. Hushed Voices: If the volume of voice of the person talking to is getting lower by the minute, it is best to start shouting, because people who try to promote their agenda ought to say aloud what they want to say. If someone is deliberately trying to quieten down, its best to be alert, and raise the heat of the argument.

2. Uncertain commitments: If you ask a candidate for a pre-election party (and by that, I mean a real party!) and they seem uncertain, their post candidature and effectively their confidence of victory might be low too.

3. Pointing out people: If they are trying too hard to sound subtle while pointing out people, mud slinging them or accusing for their own twisted reasons, be warned. If they don't have the guts of point people and be proud of it, and do not care what the world thinks of them are truly leaders.

Having seen the in-fighting and black-talk over supremely silly issues, I feel its time for people to wake up to this menace.

A wise man once said - "If there are barriers, you have to take sides."
A wiser man said - "If there are barriers, they are meant to be broken."
(Words of wisdom from my soon-to-be-ex-roommate)

And did I tell you I was aiming for Computer Room Secy?

Bottomline is (as is always): VOTE FOR ME !!!

Saturday, January 17, 2009